Why Successful Women Attract Men With Potential And What To Do About It

Leigha Lake

Why do strong, successful, and extremely talented women tend to attract the artist archetype (the artist archetype is the dreamer, super easygoing, romantic, passionate lover and tends to have wounded feminine energy) when what they really desire is a man who can be bigger than they are in all ways?

Why do they choose men they have to train and pull along to TRY to get their needs met?

Why are they attracted to the men who, after getting to know them a little while, are somewhat clueless and less evolved, don’t make very much money, can barely provide for themselves, let alone anyone else, aren’t passionate about their careers and are ok with a woman taking care of them (providing and supporting)?

It’s not because the empowered masculine energy men they dream about don’t exist.

It’s because that’s what feels familiar and safe.

These women are used to being the strongest, most capable women in the room and have been from a very young age. It’s become their energetic blueprint and the biggest factor for their current level of success.

She can handle a relationship not working out with a wounded feminine energy man because deep down, she knows she deserves more. She knows she’s the stronger one, and she’ll be ok with it without him. She holds the reigns and the “power.”

The dream of being with an empowered man feels good (and she longs for this), but this type of relationship feels elusive and foreign to her. What would it even look like in real life? Will it stop her success?

What if… he tries to control her in any way? (One of her biggest fears is being controlled/feeling out of control; she benefits from this fear because it drives her success. The more successful she is, the less likely anyone can control her and the more control she has.)

So she subconsciously continues to choose men she knows aren’t a true match for her while, at the same time, she has a deep underlying fear of ending up at the top alone. (She has two conflicting values keeping what she truly wants at arm’s length.)

She doesn’t believe she can have a successful career and a man whose energy is bigger than hers.

The good news is this is my area of expertise. I teach strong, successful women how to attract and choose the right man and be in a loving, passionate, healthy relationship.

The first step to healing past patterns, beliefs, and behaviors so you can attract the right man is becoming aware of how you respond when facing the unknown.

It’s about facing the unknown from a place of the masculine energy of “I can handle anything that comes my way,” although that’s amazing in and of itself but through allowing yourself to feel extremely vulnerable without trying to do anything about it.

To a highly successful woman, vulnerability often feels like a weakness, and that’s the one thing she judges the most in herself and others, and she cannot tolerate weakness.

She then subconsciously attracts men who are weak (although they never appear that way in the beginning).

Can you see the pattern here?

This answers the question for many women… “How come she can have a loving relationship with a man who adores her, but it’s so difficult for me, and I’m so amazing?”

It comes down to vulnerability and a willingness to be fully seen and to even to be seen as weak/and or imperfect.

It involves releasing the coping mechanisms that relentlessly drive you so you can feel in control and powerful.

The ones that stop you from being vulnerable so a man can’t see who you really are or connect with you on a deep level.

The ones that keep you from feeling consistently peaceful, calm, and happy without doing or accomplishing anything.

If you’re ready to dive deep and look at the energetic reasons keeping you from attracting the love you desire (or your current relationship isn’t what you want it to be) so you can heal and transform them and open yourself up to have the relationship you want, you may want to consider my 8-week program Receive.

It’s for a very specific woman who’s created a high level of success in her life, but she knows she’s being held back from accessing her true potential when it comes to attracting an empowered man while also continuing to create financial success with more ease.

The work we’ll do and the tools I’ll teach you will not feel like work but will release the energy you’ve been holding onto for too long. You’ll learn new ways of being and relating to men and life. (My clients consistently say they wish they had learned this information years ago.)

If you’re interested, email me at leigha@leighalake.com, and we’ll see have a quick chat and see if you’re a fit.


  1. Tara Adamson

    OMG! I so do this!!
    The idea of giving up the “strongest force in the room” is so foreign to me! This is a great thing for me to learn and to develop a new belief system around.

    • llake

      Let me know how this goes for you! So glad to hear it resonated!! <3


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Hey, Leigha here – I’m a mom, wife, lover of the outdoors & Relationship Coach for High-Achieving Women. My mission is to help women steer clear of unhealthy, toxic, soul-destroying relationships and show them how to attract an integrated masculine man, and live a deeply rich and fulfilling life.

Early stages of dating

Bonding stages of dating

Long term relationships


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