One of the most powerful things we can do in our romantic relationship is give our man the benefit of the doubt.
(Only if he’s a Sailor, of course!) This means he’s an emotionally healthy man whose priority is making our lives as easy as possible. (This is the role of the empowered masculine, and it’s innate within him. A “sailor” naturally does this; no teaching or training is required!)
It’s the role of the empowered feminine to make sure she’s managing her own happiness and sense of fulfillment to the best of her ability and not relying on a man to provide those things for her.
Women often give too much benefit of the doubt on the wrong side of the relationship. They give a man they hardly know the benefit of the doubt (which gets them stuck in The Potential Man Trap), and often the man they marry they hardly give any benefit of the doubt.
Healthy, integrated men are incredibly sensitive to our energy, but we’re often unaware of it. When we’re navigating life from our own life raft (with awareness, discernment, and calmness), we can see a man’s true character. It’s that simple.
When a woman communicates her needs, wants, and desires from a calm, open, honest, respectful place, he’ll always show up for her.
Most pain and heartache in romantic relationships result from not understanding healthy relationship dynamics.
A lot of it can be avoided when we know how to navigate life in a healthy whole integrated way.
(I believe it’s our responsibility and spiritual path to learn how to show up as healthy relationship partners as it influences every area of our lives and the lives of others, especially our children.)
Even yesterday, Trever and I were talking about something, and I could’ve easily overreacted, got defensive, and taken his frustration personally (I caught myself wanting to! Lol).
Because I know he’s an empowered man, I knew his frustration meant he was trying to figure out the best solution.
If I had made his frustration about me (which would’ve been an illusion), I would’ve brought unnecessary drama to the situation, and we would’ve ended up feeling bad towards each other the rest of the day. (The situation wasn’t about me, but I could’ve easily made it about me because it triggered me.)
Instead, I stayed in my life raft and let him know that I trusted he would figure it out. I didn’t try and fix it, I didn’t take it personally, I stayed calm and centered within myself, and we had a great night.
In the moment, it can feel difficult not to react, but what I’ve found to be true in my relationship with Trever is that when I’m feeling triggered, defensive, reactive, or taking something personally, then I’m seeing an illusion and not the truth of the situation.
I cover triggers and illusions that come up in relationships in Module 5 in The Art Of Healthy Relationships. Knowing this information is a game-changer.
Next time you feel “bad” or triggered with your man (and you know he’s an empowered man), get in your life raft, wait until the “waters” are calm again, and see if you can see the illusion dissolve right before your eyes.
Let me know how this goes for you! I love hearing from you!