If You’re A Successful Woman Who’s Constantly Doing, Thinking, Analyzing, And Conquering The World – Ready To Be Loved, Cherished And Adored…I can relate.
Here’s a question from Roxy… (She’s agreed to let me answer it here.)
“Hi Leigha, were you “soft warm and open” when you were a firefighter? I’m curious because those two adjectives don’t seem to mesh with my job.”
I have women ask me all the time if I was able to practice being in my feminine energy while I was a firefighter – and the answer is YES! It was easy for me to practice because I wasn’t trying to do anything with these men – it was just for practice. These guys were basically my family, they were my best buddies. (I was circular dating, being open to all men all of the time.)
(I just want to clarify real quick that I was not thinking about being in my feminine energy while actually fighting a fire, running a chain saw, rappelling out of a helicopter or hiking for miles and miles.)
We all have masculine AND feminine energy – we want both!! But when relating to men – I feel best coming from my feminine energy.
What does it mean to be soft, warm and open? To me – at a very basic level – it’s being present in your body (stopping the mental chatter, by dropping down into your pelvis), it’s listening at a level 2 and it’s about tracking your body. Tracking your body feels like softening your belly, dropping your shoulders, softening your jaw and leaning back ever so slightly (or A LOT depending on the situation).
When I practiced this way of being, I felt more relaxed, my head felt clearer and I felt more confident.
You can practice being an invitation anywhere!
Women in a male dominated field can feel as though they need to prove themselves – that they need to be as tough as the guys and that’s simply NOT true.
Men can sense when a woman thinks she needs to prove herself and it’s a turn off – romantically and professionally.
How can you be an invitation anywhere? When a man offers to do something for you – let him. Smile. Express your appreciation. Make eye contact. They love this – because they’re men.
Imagine being a fern versus a cactus. This is one of Rori Raye’s Tools.
A fern doesn’t just need water – it requires water. It requires love, attention and affection. It’s soft to the touch and it’s presence is inviting. It’s the essence of feminine energy.
A cactus doesn’t need water – masculine energy. We come off like a cactus when a man offers to do something for us and we say,”No, I can do it myself.” or “It’s OK, I’m fine, I’ll take care of it.” Not wanting to be a girly girl or needing help.
We can also feel like a cactus to a man if we’re feeling insecure and unsure of ourselves and we pretend everything is OK. It doesn’t feel good to us and it doesn’t feel good to him either.
You can be a fern anywhere!!
How Do You Switch From “Working Woman” To “Ultimate Invitation?”
(Here’s the second part of Roxy’s question.)
“And then how do you turn that soft/warm/open part on after work?”
If you’re at home…
Start with noticing how you feel, putting on comfortable clothes you feel good in – and I would make the rest of your day all about feeling good. If it’s cooking a healthy meal, lighting candles, taking a bath, putting on your favorite lotion, doing yoga, or some kind of meditation.
If all of that sounds like to much “doing” – I completely understand – I know how it is when you’ve worked all day and all you want to do is throw yourself on your bed and not move until morning…
Ask yourself what would be the best thing you could do for yourself? What would feel good?
If you’re getting ready for a date…
For me, the whole ritual of taking a shower and getting ready made me feel like the ultimate invitation. I would imagine I had sparkly shimmers all over my body, I would imagine I was the most exotic woman (I even had men ask me where I was from because they said I had an exotic look!) The power of intention! ???? I would imagine my inner light shining from the inside out, attracting the perfect man for me (it worked!!).
These are just the very basics. There’s so much more about being an invitation – using feeling messages, using the “Good Night” talk, lowering your voice, and melting.
Start here! This will help you so much!