Here’s a questions from Addison. This is something we’ve all experienced and wondered after a break up, especially when we feel blindsided.
“Hi Leigha, My boyfriend and I just broke up after being together for almost 2 years. I don’t think we’re going to get back together. I’ve leaned forward a few times and contacted him, he’s always nice and seems happy to hear from me but he never contacts me first. He has to at least miss me right? I mean, we were together almost every day for the last two years, and now all of a sudden we’re not. Do you think he thinks about me? Thanks, Addison”
My Answer > > >
I totally understand how you feel – I’ve been there. (We’ve all been there.)
Of course you’re wondering what he’s thinking, what he’s doing and if he’s missing you!
Most of the time we think we would feel better if we just knew he missed us too. If we could only hear it from him…it would make things feel a little better, a little more bearable. If only we knew what he was thinking?
But it doesn’t. It makes it harder. It doesn’t help you move through the pain any quicker or easier. It actually slows you down. You start to wonder if he’ll change his mind and then you want to make it easy for him (just incase he’s afraid of rejection) although he’s the one who ended it with you. You start to wonder what you did wrong – At what point exactly did things change? And then the biggie – Can you fix it? Can you do Damage Control??
Distracting yourself with what “a man is doing or what he’s thinking” keeps you from the feelings you’re trying so hard not to feel. Because it’s scary – I totally get it. We’ll do almost ANYTHING to keep from feeling those awful feelings. We’re all scared of how deep those feelings go – like we’ll never be able to crawl back out.
The quickest way to heal your heart and to dissolve your blocks to love – the walls around your heart – is to feel your feelings. This is also the quickest way to get the man and the love you want.
Do This > >
Next time you catch yourself thinking about him, wondering what he’s doing and if he’s missing you – notice – become aware of your thoughts.
Awareness key for getting unstuck and dissolving blocks to love.
Notice where your thoughts go next – Do you blame yourself, and what you could have (should have) done differently? Or beat yourself up because you have a couple extra pounds to lose?
Become aware and notice where your thoughts automatically tend to go.
What are you feeling? Anger? Sadness? Despair? See if you can just feel what you’re feeling, one feeling at a time. And if it feels chaotic – perfect.
Then see if you can feel it in your body – where do you feel your feelings? In your chest? In your throat? Between your eyes?
I hear women all the time saying – “How do I keep this from happening again? I was so blindsided!”
By feeling your feelings NOW.
Feeling your feelings now dissolves the blocks you have around your heart – which results in attracting better and better men – who will cherish, love and adore you!
For now – forget about “getting over him” and “moving on” – just focus on putting your attention on YOU. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about him – bring it back to YOU!
He’s just an experience along your journey to the man and love you really want.
P.S. What if… you just believed – Of course he’s missing you! You’re absolutely amazing – the best thing he’s ever had! ????
I love the “flip” perspective… OF COURSE he misses you, YOU GODDESS girl!
Love, Carrie xoxo